A divorce doesn’t just impact the husband and wife who are splitting up, but also all the surrounding people. Perhaps more than anyone else, a divorce is going to have an impact on the children. In the time during and immediately following a divorce, it is important to do everything you can to help them adjust and adapt so both they, and you, can move forward with what will become your ‘new normal’ way of living. While it isn’t always easy, the following are proven tips to help your children adjust.
Create a Reasonable Parenting Plan
One of the first and most important things you can do for your children is to create a good parenting plan. This will be a part of the divorce process and will lay out who gets custody of the children at what time and many other essential facts about the future of how you can parent. To the greatest extent possible, work with your ex to make sure your parenting plan offers stability and facilitates a strong relationship with both parents. A good parenting plan will really be the foundation of what you are able to do for and with your kids for many years to come, so put the time and effort into it that is needed.
Find Your Routine Right Away
Many parents think that immediately following a divorce they should try to do a lot of fun things with their kids to “make up” for the fact that the divorce occurred. While planning vacations and things like that may provide some enjoyment, it is really just delaying the fact that life is going to change in some drastic ways for both you and your children. Attempting to transition into a new normal routine will help your kids to adjust more quickly so they can adapt moving forward.
Consider Co-Parenting Groups or Classes
While every divorce and parenting situation is unique, you are far from the only people who have ever gone through something like this. Consider taking some type of co-parenting classes or join a co-parenting group that can provide you with the support and guidance that you need during this difficult time. Many people find that in addition to invaluable advice, these groups or classes can put you in touch with people who will become lifelong friends and a reliable circle of support.
Provide Counseling for Your Children
Counseling for your children can be an invaluable resource. Seek out a professional counselor or therapist who specializes in post-divorce work. They will be able to help your children process through their feelings, and allow them to find ways to adjust to their new way of life. Never underestimate the impact a divorce will have on children, and how important professional help can be.
Put Your Children First
Putting your children first in all your decisions is critical for ensuring they will adjust to how things will be going forward, and that everyone’s lives will be better in the process. This means being willing to be flexible on the parenting plan with your ex when special events come up, making sure you are there for them when you are needed, and much more. While it may be a sacrifice, it will be well worth the effort in the long run and will really do more than anything else to help them grow up and become well-adjusted adults.
At The Aguilera Law Center, we are dedicated to helping our community through their legal issues. We also want to make sure your children aren’t subjected to the tension and bitterness that divorce often brings. If you are facing divorce, give us a call today to see how we can help you.