By: Alejandra Aguilera, Esq., Founding Attorney of The Aguilera Law Center, P.A.
After a separation or divorce, parents are often not on the same page when it comes to co-parenting. Co-parenting is the relationship you have with the other parent since you share a child and now have to parent together. Studies have shown that having a good co-parenting relationship can have a positive impact on your child’s life. Here are three tips to keep in mind to improve your co-parenting:
1. Communication is key: Co-parenting is all about effective communication. Communication should be polite and respectful. If there is shared parental responsibility, then you should be communicating with each other about major decisions that affect the welfare of the child such as school and medical decisions. The discussions that you have with the other parent should only be about the child, remember that the focus should be on what’s in the “best interest of the child”.
2. Keep your emotions in check – It’s understandable if you are still feeling the emotions from your break-up with the other parent, but don’t let your emotions dictate decisions that will affect your child negatively. Your child will benefit from you having healthy communication with the other parents. If you feel like you cannot get along with the other parent because of a past relationship, you should seek therapy to help get over those issues. You must be able to see past your feelings and your emotions so that you can focus on your child’s well-being. Studies have shown that a child that has frequent and consistent contact with both parents will benefit the child. Keep in mind that you should not be talking negatively about the other parent to the child because it can hurt the child. The child should not have to feel like he/she is picking a side because the parents are in a disagreement.
3. It’s not easy- The process of co-parenting can be hard. Try to just learn from any mistakes you make and remember that communication is key. Remember that you and the other parents are going to be in the child’s life for a long time so it may be worth considering getting outside help if you both are unable to get on the same page to your co-parent. If you are serious about improving your co-parenting, both parents can agree to attend co-parenting classes to improve the relationship, or you can also have family therapy to improve communication. There are also apps that you can download on your PC or phone that help with communication and messaging. Apps like Talking Parents and Our Family Wizard have been ordered by the Court in certain cases where the messages are recorded and can later be used as evidence in future court hearings.
If you would like to learn more about co-parenting, please contact,
The Aguilera Law Center at 305-255-3476